Jurassic Park's Plot Explained Badly

So a while ago there was one of those twitter trends going around called "#ExplainaMoviePlotBadly" (something along that line) and I thought I could apply it to the Jurassic Park movies. Google some examples to get the idea of explaining a movie plot badly.

DO not take this too seriously, after all the point of this is too explain the plots badly.

Here are some of my own of all the Jurassic Park Movies:

Jurassic Park's plot summary explained badly:

#1- A middle-aged man takes some children across an island filled with frog-reptile hybrids, while their grandfather yells at a black guy what to do.

#2- A boy must go through a futuristic world where he cannot die, even after being electrocuted, having giant bones fall onto him, and falling down a tree while a car proceeds to fall face down onto him.

#3- A middle-aged man, a vegetarian computer-nerd, and a scrawny dino-nerd must tread their way in a remote island while evading mutant-birdlike reptiles.

#4- An asian scientist, a white capitalist, a fat greedy man, a safari hunter with short-shorts, and a black guy with a smoke addiction decide to create a park where kids can touch prehistoric reptiles, only for the black guy to die first and a fat man to die with black liquids spraying out of a frilled- bird-lizard.

The Lost World's plot explained badly:

#1- A man goes to a remote island to reunite with his love only for genetically engineered reptiles, white men in coppers, and a black person get in his way.

#2- A little girl's face gets ripped off by bird-like lizards, prompting a capitalist genetic engineering company to seize the dinosaurs to open up a zoo.

#3- A dying naturalist encourages a narcissistic mathematician to research dinosaurs only for the mathematician and his girlfriend let loose all the dinosaurs on innocent campers on an Latin American island.

#4- A woman steals a T. rex baby which causes the mother and father to go rampant on the innocent citizens of San Diego.

Jurassic Park 3's plot explained badly:

#1- A decidedly odd couple with ulterior motives convince Dr. Alan Grant to go to Isla Sorna (the second InGen dinosaur lab.), resulting in an unexpected landing...and unexpected new inhabitants on the island. (From iMDb)

The plot of the movie itself is already bad since it sucks... except the spinosaurus design and Grant's quote about the astronaut vs. the astronomer.

#2- Rich couple decides to bribe a paleontologist suffering PTSD to help fulfill their dreams in an exotic trip to a hostile island.

#3- A young adolescent saves a man from dinosaurs and drinking T. rex urine.

#4- A divorced couple lose their son on an island with dinosaurs, find their friend to be scarred to the bone in a tree, watch their companions die in front of them, and fall in love after their journey.

Jurassic World's plot explained badly:

#1- A horny safari guy who is obsessed with his domesticated genetically engineered featherless birds saves two young boys from being eaten alive, ending up dating an orange haired CEO assisstant.

#2- A bad guy seeks to use genetically engineered velociraptors to be used in the army. (That moment when you realise that's a sub-plot of the movie...)

#3- A capitalist corporation fails again at stealing dinosaur fetuses while a giant prehistoric water reptile fights a camouflaged T. rex hybrid.

#4- Chris Pratt and some woman fall in love and kiss while millions of innocent tourists are eaten alive and animal genocide is being committed by a mutant giant T. rex lizard hybrid.

That's it for now, just did this for fun, and I would love to see what silly interpretations you guys have if you share any.

Remember, twist the plot in any way you want!