Why Jurassic Park is Racist

Racism. From the K.K.K., to the Nazis, to The Atlantic Slave Trade, etc., it goes on- it truly is a terrible thing. Many times such monstrous and rather cleverly hidden ideas having racist meanings within them make it into pop culture, without a single individual noticing until after thorough and in-depth analysis. Many time racism makes it past by in the media, from the early 20^th’s century The Birth of a Nation to the banned episodes of Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes, to the mid-20^th century propaganda films and to the often racist movies we see today.

And I ask you to DO PLEASE READ THE WHOLE DISCUSSION BEFORE COMMENTING!!!

I do not mean to act unprofessionally by typing in Caps Lock and bold, but it is of great importance that you regard my propositions with great attention.

So first, let me begin my assertion with a proper introduction:

As much as we may love these classic, masterpiece of these movies, it has most unfortunately come to my attention and realization that these movies are nothing but complete quite awful movies with the most evil of implications.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my most highest of duties with your all-due respect to inform you that these movies you love are indeed- racist.

To improve the facilitating of comprehending my arguments, I shall thoroughly analyze the three Jurassic Park movies, step by step, to scientifically and theoretically prove that the films we once thought were nostalgic truly had darker intentions, and were indeed full of racism, prejudice, and stereotypes.

Please- I beg of you to regard of my statements with complete respect and to read them before saying hurtful comments towards my propositions. Do please be patient and read carefully before typing in your rebuttals.

Sorry for my ever so dragging paragraphs, but is important for the common and average individual to understand what I am getting at. So, without further ado, I present how all of the three Jurassic Park movies are in fact- racist.

PART I: Jurassic Park is Racist: Originally released in 1993, Steven Spielberg’s iconic movie is just the beginning of the racism these movies really behold. So, here are my arguments of to how Jurassic Park is actually racist propaganda.

1-      The Black guy dies first in many movies. And Jurassic Park follows this rule, and it doesn’t even take 300 seconds for it to happen! This is of course, racist.

2-      Dr. Wu is Asian.

He is the only Asian in Jurassic Park. So there is 1 Asian in the movie. Theoretically, 100% of all the Asians in Jurassic Park are Asian. What does this imply? That all Asians are incredibly smart. That’s racist. Ding

3-      The second Black Guy is always seen smoking a cigarette. That’s also incredibly racist, saying all Black guys live the “#ThugLife”

4-      John Hammond is portrayed as a capitalist, both in movie and the book. He is Scottish. Scottish are white. So are British people. When the Industrial Revolution was in full-fledge, it was all about capitalism for greedy investors, those being mostly white people. AND since John is the only white capitalist in the movie, STATISTICALLY speaking 100% of ALL the capitalist in the movies are white- implying that it is STRICTLY ONLY possible for white people to be capitalist!?!?!? That, my friends,--- is racist.

5-      Ellie is seen with a black arm falling on her. The movie expects the audience to assume this is from Arnold just because the arm, is black. That is also racist.

6-      Only white people survive the tragedy of Jurassic Park. We see no Latinos, Hispanics, Asians, Africans, Indians, Native Americans, and Chimpanzees make it off the island- Need I say it again? Very racist!

7-      It is a common fact among fans that John Hammond and Ian Malcolm purposely wear contrasting colors for symbolism, John being an opportunist/optimist/dreamer and Malcolm being a pessimist/realist. So this implies that only Black people are pessimistic while white people are day dreamers!? R.a.c.i.s.t.

PART II: The Lost World: Jurassic Park is Racist: The sequel to Jurassic Park, this movie was another blockbuster among the 90’s. However, just like its predecessor, it had inner racist ordeals hidden within.

1-      The rich family seen in the beginning of the movie is white… And… Well… They’re white… And they’re not Black… So, that MEANS IT HAS TO (somehow) BE RACIST!!!

2-      Ian Malcolm has a black daughter, and the other black guy in the movie is clearly shown being eaten by a raptor. The fact that the only black character that survives is a girl, is racist.

3-      There is a scene where a black guy is eaten by a velociraptor. This is the third time in the series where the black guy dies, which is not only just simply racist, but think about it: it is possible that raptors evolved into chickens. It is a stereotype that black people eat fried chicken. So, the fact that the ancestor of the chicken is now eating the black guy- is racist.

4-      Also, when the black guy dies, he has a rather comedic face:

And since he is not white, and his face is funny, that of course immediately makes this scene racist.

5-      In one scene we see a raptor when Kelly kicks the raptor into a spike with her gymnastic skills. Her skills imply that she is flexible and agile, meaning that she is fully capable of jumping. And we never see any white people jump in The Lost World: Jurassic Park. This goes with the stereotype that white people can’t jump, meaning that this is also setting the ugly, unequal stereotypes of the athletic abilities of white and black people, meaning that this movie is indeed,- racist.

6-      The only raptor we see get killed in the movie is an orange raptor. All the other raptors seem to have a greenish color. This implies that only the orange raptors die due to their weakness. That implies that orange-skinned raptors are inferior. That, my friends, is also, racist.

7-      When the T. rex is running in San Diego, we see it chasing crowds of people and in one scene we see Asians running. The fact that they are zoomed on, is racist… Actually the way the scene is portrayed may actually be a bit racist… Possibly…

8-      When Ian is arguing with Kelly over why she would sneak onto the trailer, Eddie states that he sees no “family resemblance” between Ian and Kelly. He is implying this since Ian and Kelly are both different races, and that it would be surprising to find out they are father and daughter. That is racist. Well, actually, yes. It is kinda racist, it’s not that hard to assume that the mother was of African descent…

PART III: Jurassic Park lll is Racist: The generally most hated of the first trilogy, Jurassic Park lll was not as racist as its predecessors, but that does not change the fact that it still was incredibly racist.

1-      All the Latinos die in the first few minutes of the film, and only the two white men survive. That, my friends, is indeed, racist.

2-      The black member of Alan Grant’s party is rather quickly killed off, which is in fact, racist.

3-

What that raptor said- is racist.

4-      Rex Vs. Spino was actually propaganda meant to set class divisions among the Jurassic Park fanbase, encouraging “Rexism” (Racism against T.rexes) and “Anti-Spinosim” (Hatred of Spinosaurus Aegypticus).

And I’m gonna say that boy did it goddamn work.

5-      When Billy pulls out his parachute and glides over to save Eric, the Jurassic Park trilogy yet again supports the stereotype that white people can’t jump, as proven Billy can only jump properly with a parachute. Need I say it again? R-A-C-I-S-T!

6-      Erik is white, and he is shown jumping across the pterodactyl nests. The fact that the movie tries to recover its past racism by fighting against the stereotypes, only proves that these movies are indeed racist.

7-      In the end of the movie, all of the survivors are white, and the only person shown to have died but yet survived is white, and all the white people have a happy ending. Not to mention Ellie, who helped them, is white. That my friends, is support white supremacy, assuring us that these movies are indeed racist and white supremacist propaganda.

PART IV: Jurassic World Already Looked Racist in the Trailers:

1-      In the first trailer, a Latino man dies, which is of course racist.

2-      In the same trailer another Latino man is hinted to have been caught by a dinosaur, about to die. Even more racist.

3-      We saw Omar Sy, and African American man be casted, and his job as a raptor tamer is possible that he will be killed off rather quickly.

4-      The released scene of Owen and Beth clearly show sexism prevalent within these characters. That’s racist.

5-      In the Super Bowl TV Spot, we saw a pterodactyl pick up a woman and presumably kill her. That too, is racist since it is the first time a woman has been killed in the Jurassic Park series.

6-      The logo of Jurassic Park is red, and the logo of Jurassic World is blue. Red and blue make up the colors of the Confederate Flag. And as I am an esteemed and proud expert on American History (Which I’m not) I can confirm to you that that’s also racist.

There we go. I hope I was able to thoroughly conduct an on-site inspection on why these movies are indeed, racist.

And yes for you people who don’t understand sarcasm and/or satire, this was a joke.

-CREDITS-

-All writing is credit to Raptor-401

-Special thanks to Lord Vader for inspiring for me to make this when he made a comment of how people will find racism with everything, sparking the idea in my head to make a joke about it, eventually evolving into this spoof post

-Special thanks to one of my favorite comedian inspirations CinemaSins for also inspiring me to find “racism” in places where it is entirely nonexistent. Even if he won’t read this, I still must credit him

-And special thanks to GorillaGodzilla for proofreading part of this and assuring the comedic quality of this spoof

Next time we may possibly see more in depth reasons of why Jurassic World is racist…